I Still Love You
by My Kind of Paradise
Summary: Set right after BD. Sam just needs to talk to Leah one night after all of the chaos is behind them. Sam and Leah centric, but bits of Sam and Emily.


Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight; Stephanie Meyer does. I own none of the characters mentioned in this story, either, so remember that. I also do not own any of the events of the original series.

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I knocked on the door to the Clearwaters' house. I needed to speak to her, just to hear her voice for a little while. For a few moments, no one answered the door. Well, I hadn't really expected them to; it was 4:30 A.M. If I knew Jacob, both Seth and Leah would be in bed, sleeping soundly, after the long experience of the invasion of the Volturi. He himself was asleep at his own home now; the Cullens had assured him that they could handle guarding Renesmee for one night now that the danger was momentarily gone. He hadn't slept in his own bed in weeks.

I reached to knock again, but before my hand reached the hard, wooden door, it swung back, opening to reveal Leah Clearwater in an old T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. She looked a bit surprised to see me, but quickly reined in her composure. A part of me was impressed; if it had been the other way around, I couldn't have done it any quicker.

Taking care to keep her voice level, she said quietly, "Hello, Sam." Human ears would have missed both of the words, but I didn't. Sometimes, enhanced hearing was a definite advantage. "Does Emily know that you're here?"

"No. I needed to see you, and I didn't want to wake her up." I almost smiled at the thought of Emily asleep, lying on her bad side so that only the angelic part of her face shown.

She sighed, seeming so tired at once. "Why couldn't this wait until a reasonable hour, like, oh, I don't know, _dawn_?"

I didn't say anything, but I saw comprehension light up her dark eyes. She knew me too well; she always had. It was almost like she could read my every thought, whether we were in our wolf forms or not. I had a feeling that she always would, too.

"You don't want her to know that you came to see me." It wasn't a question. I didn't really know what it was. It could have been a declaration, a simple statement, or even an exclamation, though that last one wasn't likely. All I knew was that it wasn't a question. Any way, I couldn't deny it. It was true. She sighed again, and then said, "What do you need, Sam?"

I took a deep breath. I could feel my heart pounding, and I knew that I needed to just spit it out. I had to say what needed to be said before either of us could hurt over this anymore.

"I'm sorry, Leah." I told her, swallowing hard. "I'm sorry that I broke all of my promises to you. I'm sorry that you had to suffer over me, and that you think that you can't do better than me. I wish that I could make it right, but there's nothing that I can do. I'm sorry that I can't stop loving either you or Emily. And most of all, I'm sorry that I couldn't love you like you should to be loved." I felt a trail of wet down my face. "I'm sorry that I hurt you like this."

I had never come right out and told her that I was sorry. I'd let her feel my emotions over the whole thing, tried to be as kind as possible over the whole situation. I had always just assumed that she knew. It seemed improbable that I could still feel pain for hurting her despite the way I felt for my fiancée. In a way, I was a bit like Bella Cullen's relationship with Jacob before he imprinted. I wanted her to be happy, I knew she couldn't be happy until she moved on and yet I continued to hold onto her. I couldn't bear to see her hurt, but I didn't want to see her go.

"It doesn't matter," she said, her already incredibly long eyelashes thick with tears. So she was crying, too. I hated to see that I was still hurting her, even now. She tried to move away, back inside the house, but I wouldn't let her go. I pulled her into my chest and held her there fast. She didn't even struggle against me. Had she really given up so completely now, or was she simply resigned to the facts? Both, most likely.

"Yes, Leah, it does." I murmured, kissing the top of her head gently. "Never say that it doesn't."

At that moment, it didn't matter. It didn't matter that we were both werewolves. It didn't matter that she had spent almost a year making the entire pack as miserable as she was, or that she had left to join Jacob's pack. It didn't even matter that I had imprinted. We were just Leah and Sam, just like we had been hundreds of times before all the craziness of magic, shape-shifting, vampires, and love.

It was like it had been back in high school, the night of our prom together: I held her close to me, swaying a little and whispering into her hair. It was shorter now, but as silky black as ever. That was a good memory, but this one-this one would be a painful reminded of how she felt all the time now until she moved on.

She sobbed a little. "You love her more. You never did love me as much as you love her."

I didn't reply because I didn't know how. So, I changed the subject. "I hate seeing you hurt this way, honey. I would take it all away in an instant if I could."

"I know, Sam." She was quiet for an instant, and then she looked at me with her beautiful, coffee-colored eyes. "Sam?"

"Yes?"

"D-Do you think that maybe some guy might love me like that someday?" she asked in a very un-Leahish timid tone. "Like the way you love her?"

"I'm sure of it." I smiled at her. "And whoever he is, he's going to be the luckiest man in the entire world because he'll be in love with one of the smartest, most beautiful girls in the world, and definitely the strongest."

That made the tears start all over again, and for an instant, I wished that I could just hold her like this for the rest of both of our lives. As Leah buried her face into my chest again, I felt the way I had once felt for her bloom in my heart again. But I knew that the stronger love I felt for Emily would soon be urging me to go to her before she woke up. But I did stay like that until the sun started to rise and dye the entire world a faint pink color. The crying stopped gradually and she looked at me again.

"I should go now," I told her, and she nodded. I let go and started to walk away, down the porch steps. When I got to the bottom, I heard her call me.

"Sam?"

I stopped. Without turning, I said, "Yes?"

"I still love you."

I knew the expression she would wear when she said those four words: it was full of love, longing, passion, and loss. I had to fight to not turn around and look at her. I only had one thing to say:

"I still love you, too, Lee-lee."


End file.
